Reasons Why Keybording Should Be Illegal

1. You know how in the media, people keep talking about how we'll become obese if we don't get enough excersise? You know how much we've learned about "reducing screen time" in gym over the years? Well, guess what? Thanks to Keyboarding, we get an extra ninety minutes of screen time every other day.
2. Keyboarding too often (like during ninety minute periods, hint hint) can cause one of the most severe injuries known to man (and woman): FINGER CRAMP. This horrible problem is even worse than stomach butterflies and writer's cramp! (In that case, it must be pretty bad!)
3. In Language Arts, we've learned about using descriptive words when writing a story.
Instead of this: I went home on the first day of school.
Write this: I raced home, my feet dancing on the pavement, on a first day of school I was bound to never forget.
Well, in Keyboarding, we've learned enough letters to write some great descriptive and just plain old unique words. Here's a list:
horror
raining 
Kool-Aid
jester
knoll
salad dressing
silent judges

OK! Some of these are phrases. I don't care. My point is that whoever wrote the Keyboarding computer program manual must have flunked Language Arts and spent all of his or her time thinking of boring words to torture us, such as....
lass
lad
sad
fall
sales

Yawn. Where's my blanket.....
4. Again, this is LA (Language Arts) related. We have been told over the years not to read in a drawling monotone and add excitment! and adventure! to the story by reading with feeling.
How much feeling do you think a Keyboarding teacher is using while they read off "a, space...a semi semi, space, asdjkdlf, space....." from a computer screen in a drawling monotone? Zero.
5. It's just plain boring, and no kid should have to spend the remainder of their middle school years turning into a little secretary.


I rest my case.